I finally told my first in-real-life friend about my pregnancy. And *gasp* it wasn’t my BFF. I can’t decide how I feel about that. Honestly, I feel a little guilty, but I know for my heart right now I couldn’t handle talking about it and her constant questions of how I’m feeling and what I’m planning until the ultrasound. All well intended, yes. But she doesn’t get it. And I may not have a living baby in there. It’s happened before. I need to guard my heart until I see it with my own eyes. Then she’ll probably be the next to know.
So I told my only in-real-life friend who has also struggled with infertility [currently pregnant via IVF!]. I can’t tell you how much of a godsend she has been in my life. To know that someone KNOWS where you’re at at any point in time. Knows what to and what not to say – its a huge blessing. She was overjoyed for me, but cautiously optimistic as well. She knows.
I’m on pins and needles waiting for 8:30 when I can call my nurses voicemail to ask for yesterday’s results. I’m not entirely sure why, though. It won’t be real to me until the ultrasound. It just won’t. I’ve been there before… Doubling numbers, everything seems fine, walk in to the ultrasound and bam. Empty sac. Embarrassing.
In other news, I SLEPT last night! Only got up at 12:30 and 5:30. This is amazing! The last week I have been waking up at 2, 3, 4, or 5 and being up for the day. This is not normal for me… I’m the kind that goes to bed at 11 and is dead asleep til 9 every morning. I was so bored in the middle of the night! Ha. Anyways… I feel great today!