Pregnant Infertile

I feel like a bad, bad, bad infertility blogger. Who starts a blog a few weeks before winding up pregnant? Oh, me.

Hear me out. Even though my journey on this blog has only consisted of 9 posts, my infertility journey has been so much longer. You can read the whole thing here, but this pregnancy comes after 22 months of actively trying to conceive and 2 miscarriages almost two years ago and almost a year ago. And this cycle was unmedicated while I waited for my RE appointment in September to determine where we go from here.

I am by no means out of the woods yet. I’ve been here before. Twice.

My hcg yesterday (11-12 days past ovulation) was 72 and progesterone 43. The hcg number doesn’t matter until we compare it with Monday’s result and hope for doubling numbers. The progesterone is the one that gives me hope today, though. My highest pregnant progesterone level ever is 9.5. Nine! I know low progesterone is a likely cause of my pregnancy losses in the past, so I was determined to not let history repeat itself (again). I started taking progesterone supplements (that I was prescribed for my medicated cycles) on Wednesday, August 29, somewhere around 3 days past ovulation. So I know some of that number is from supplementation, but what it tells me is I wont lose this pregnancy due to low progesterone. Due to other factors, maybe, but not low progesterone. And that gives me hope.

I know this post pains many of you. I’ve been there. And it breaks my heart to write it. But what always pained me more was being left in the dark in hopes of trying to protect me. I’d rather just know.

I’ll still be blogging about infertility (I have lots of half-posts in my head and as drafts), and through this pregnancy (however long it may last) about what it’s like to be an ‘infertile’ that’s pregnant. Infertility has changed me, has marked me. It will shape this pregnancy and the rest of my life.

Trust me, I will not forget where I have been or where so many of you still are.

Oh, and she asked me the first day of my last period (how they will date this pregnancy, even though I’ll be behind because of not ovulating til day 19-20):     August 7.     My first due date.