Pregnant Infertile

I feel like a bad, bad, bad infertility blogger. Who starts a blog a few weeks before winding up pregnant? Oh, me.

Hear me out. Even though my journey on this blog has only consisted of 9 posts, my infertility journey has been so much longer. You can read the whole thing here, but this pregnancy comes after 22 months of actively trying to conceive and 2 miscarriages almost two years ago and almost a year ago. And this cycle was unmedicated while I waited for my RE appointment in September to determine where we go from here.

I am by no means out of the woods yet. I’ve been here before. Twice.

My hcg yesterday (11-12 days past ovulation) was 72 and progesterone 43. The hcg number doesn’t matter until we compare it with Monday’s result and hope for doubling numbers. The progesterone is the one that gives me hope today, though. My highest pregnant progesterone level ever is 9.5. Nine! I know low progesterone is a likely cause of my pregnancy losses in the past, so I was determined to not let history repeat itself (again). I started taking progesterone supplements (that I was prescribed for my medicated cycles) on Wednesday, August 29, somewhere around 3 days past ovulation. So I know some of that number is from supplementation, but what it tells me is I wont lose this pregnancy due to low progesterone. Due to other factors, maybe, but not low progesterone. And that gives me hope.

I know this post pains many of you. I’ve been there. And it breaks my heart to write it. But what always pained me more was being left in the dark in hopes of trying to protect me. I’d rather just know.

I’ll still be blogging about infertility (I have lots of half-posts in my head and as drafts), and through this pregnancy (however long it may last) about what it’s like to be an ‘infertile’ that’s pregnant. Infertility has changed me, has marked me. It will shape this pregnancy and the rest of my life.

Trust me, I will not forget where I have been or where so many of you still are.

Oh, and she asked me the first day of my last period (how they will date this pregnancy, even though I’ll be behind because of not ovulating til day 19-20):     August 7.     My first due date.

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4 thoughts on “Pregnant Infertile

  1. auntmimi says:

    well I just started following you and I will keep following you. Congrats on the BFP and I will keep my fingers crossed that things continue to go well.

    http://www.auntmimi2010.blogspot.com

  2. Kathy says:

    How amazing that when you wrote the post about Luna’s blog that you were “right there” too! I came here tonight to read and comment on that post and then thought I would read on to see what was happening in your life since you wrote that. I certainly never expected to read your news here. CONGRATULATIONS!!! I know how bittersweet it is to experience pregnancy after a loss. Sending positive thoughts, prayers, love and light your way. Hoping that this one sticks. Also, in regards to the date of your LMP being your first due date, the significance of such dates always get me/are meaningful to me too. It will be awesome if this pregnancy and hopefully healthy baby gives new or at least additional meaning to August 7th for you. (((HUGS))) Hang in there and congrats again! 🙂

  3. luna says:

    wow, what wonderful news! and I agree with kathy: I love that you were “right there” too. I know how hard it is to experience pregnancy after a loss, but I am wishing you the best.

  4. Lavender Luz says:

    Wholeheartedly happy for you!

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